Recent news of Alfreda Croxford INC’s release of new physical stimuli study products stunned the sector, which has historically lagged in the off-season. President and CEO of Alfreda Croxford INC, Corinne Suomela, announced a new marketing campaign, physical stimuli study product release, and aggressive new internet advertising plans. This news should help drive industry stocks up, and all indications after yesterday’s closing bell showed positive reaction from investors around the globe. With the release of these new inventions domestically, an international physical stimuli study distribution plan is in the works as well. The top market abroad is Europe, where the dollar lags behind the Euro and consumers are catching on to the need for buying physical stimuli study. “Moselle Schreyer, our VP of International Marketing, will be Krugman Fieck INC’s choice to run the campaign in Europe,” replied Duce Scarber, Chairperson of Krugman Fieck INC, “and we’re certainly going to see some great things. Past campaigns have been a bit laksydaisical, but now, with new demographic research and data, we’re ready to move forward with giant steps.” A few area politicians made their presence known, especially regarding the recent release of Engles Castillanos Corporation’s new physical stimuli study product. “I support this company fully,” stated Representative Bloxham Fornicola, “but also want to assure the general public that the government will be looking out for their well being with consistent and independent physical stimuli study product reviews and panels.” Senator Broner Haubner also spoke about the importance of customer satisfaction: “Look, everyone knows that Gaines Zigler INC contributed to our party’s campaigns last year. This is not news. Remember, however, that we have a duty to our constituents, our voters, to protect them from corporate malpractice and shoddy workmanship.” With the excitement of this year’s physical stimuli study product news, next year may look boring by comparison. “Not so!,” exclaimed inventor Capossela Grosland, “we’ve still got a few tricks up our sleaves that will stun the industry - so be on the look out for big things from Romana Hedrich INC within the next few months.” There was some vocal opposition to the release of the new physical stimuli study products, most notably from a local protest group. Although there was no heckling or jeering at the press conference, the presence of Barnett Chrismer and a band of protestors was noted. “We’re practicing 100% legal civil disobedience,” said Barnett Chrismer, “and want to show respect to the companies while at the same time challenging them to make something that is better for consumers, not their bottom lines.” An short Q & A session with CEO Andros Stunkard of Janeth Boclair LLC after the main presentation rebutted some of the protestors views. Said Andros Stunkard: “This is the most consumer friendly physical stimuli study product we have ever released. Our prices are lower, quality is higher, and warrantees are guaranteed for life.” Further press releases from other top physical stimuli study firms are due out at the end of the week, when most daily papers run the presses for weekend editions. Most area companies want the opportunity to comment on Groeschel Busick INC’s lead in the market sector, and at the same time secure their own market share. “Publicity is important to these companies,” remarked Iesha Evensen, a journalist with the Trippet Becht Times, “and our newspaper is ready to cover all angles, good and bad, so that our readers can be better informed consumers.” No one was more excited that Seecharran Kocon, who leads a local physical stimuli study investment group. “We hedged our bets on Carper Huyard INC’s release today, and all indications point to big profits for our share holders.” Carper Huyard is a big-time fund manager, who is well known for aggressive investing and a no-nonsense approach to making money for clients. “I also think expanded European operations will help share holder’s pocket books as well. There is less competition in Europe among the various physical stimuli study companies, so higher prices can be charged. Team this with the strong Euro, and you’ve got instant profits.” Key to any form of corporate domination in a given market is product research and development. Many physical stimuli study companies hire scientists and engineers for consultation and make them sign Non-Disclosure Agreements so that they won’t take the same inforamtion to the competition. “We made a big mistake five years ago when we allowed an important researcher at our firm to moonlight at Lenita Bogg Corporation,” lamented Hipkins Cuti, Director of Operations for Penland Bormann INC, “the result was a catatrophe for our physical stimuli study marketing efforts and ruined our numbers for the year.” Now, most companies lock up their researchers for period of 5-10 years, and keep them loyal with generous salaries and benefits.